Everyday Life

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Because that's what I'm thinking of using my livejournal for from now on. Let's see if I can get it to work^^;.

Well, I went to school yesterday, and I got four papers assigned. I felt like an idiot, too, because I hadn't slept for about 20 hours, and by the time film class came around... a class in which I'm having a very hard time, I kept falling asleep.

Two tests, too...

Well, I had started drawing some things yesterday morning, but I guess I can't finish them><. The only time I'll have to draw for a while is in class, I guess... Sorry.

I wish I were in school for art...

Dragon*Con was a lot of fun, but the shadow of school literally loomed over me all weekend. From the hotel room, I could see the buildings for my school among the Atlanta cityscape;A;. That glowing blue emblem at night, haunting my dreams...

It's my favourite con by far. It's amazing like a crazy experience where I can drop out of real life for four days. We we in the executive level in the Hilton, and I saw Leonard Nimoy, William Shatner, and Kate Mulgrew (<3<3<3!!!) walking around in that level of the hotel... in person>w<. Also, I saw Garret Wang walking right in front of me downstairs---he just looks like a normal guy; no one noticed him. That was really cool! The actual panel where we saw Kate Mulgrew was really great! It was so epic when they played the Voyager theme and she walked out all cool and stuffXD. I thought she was a really cool person, but I won't get into that. Garret Wang was really funny>w<. He told this funny story about a joke he, Tim Russ, and Ethan Phillips played on the set of Voyager. I won't repeat it, but I hope it was true because it was hilariousO_O;.

We also went to Richard SternBach's panel which was amazing><. We got his autograph and even got a design he did for Voyager>w<! It's so cool!

We went to a few other panels like... Don't Talk to Cops and something or other about Manga being high art and such... Only went to the Dealers' room once, and we didn't buy anything there. One of the places where we spent a lot of time aside from the hotel lounge was the Art Show. That was cool, and it was huge. The Dragon*Con art show is nothing like the AWA artists' alley... In a very, very good way. I'm very torn between wanting to be a part of that and wanting to full force enjoy the con without that responsibility. We met a lot of neat people there... A guy who worked fo DC and went to SCAD sort off gave a tiny critique of my sketches, and it was cool>w<. Also, a guy, David Mack who makes a watercolour/collaged comic. He sent us ---> http://www.bluecherrydoughnut.com/kabuki/about.php to a fansite made for him to see more. I bought two of his comics, but he threw in about three more>w<. He was really nice. That was a great place to spend time at the con, you know?

Being there gave me the experience I've never had of being a congoer in an Art section rather than an Artist. It gave me a lot of perspective, you know? I think I believe even more now that it is a huge exageration that "fanart sells"XD. Without realising it... I never looked at one piece of anyone's fanart! I was immediately drawn to all of the unique and bizzare comics and art that people had made! Maybe I'm not typical? Does it count that I bought Star Trek art -from- one of the official concept artists for the series?

Anyway... I had a really good time, and I'm NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO AWA AT ALLXD. This was the best part of September and it's all downhill from nowXD.

( See what's on sale...  )

( About AWA, this year.  )

( A car nearly slammed right into my car...  )

Tomorrow is the last day of that wretched class. Along with figure drawing, which I really do like... I had a lot of room for improvement, and that class helped me a lot. I really hope I can take another one in the future. I guess Pirrip doesn't feel that way about this class---I received a lot more criticism. Which I appreciate very much. My figure drawing changed so much in the past seven weeks! My ability to do something like that has changed so much. I was always the type who was too petrified to draw in a classroom, but now I can make something that really surprises me. I hope I can continue to improve!

As for the... other class... Well, it's not even really an art class. You know, it's just a mystery. You might do something exactly to her specification, but you get a bad grade on it---why? Who knows. So far, I've only gotten less than an A on one thing, but it didn't strike me as particularly poorly done. My only guess is that she decided it on a whim? I mean, I'm not saying Masao is this great artist, but that's just how the class works, you know.

I'm hoping then, that I can still have an A in the class, because I won't have any more class time to 'fix' the last two assignments if I don't get an A on them. So if I have 7 A's and 4 grades which may come out as c's or b's... I wonder if I'll still get an A... I need it for my scholarship.

Part of the problem is that we're having a 'final critique' day on 29 July. If I could go to that, I could potentially re-do my last project if it doesn't get an A. But I have to have surgery that day. So not only can I not go to that, I won't get to know my grade as soon as everyone else will.

Speaking of which, that's next Wednesday, and I probably, unfortunately, won't be able to draw for a little while, since it sort of has to do with my arms and such... And that really makes me mad because this is my short time of free time before fall semester starts on the 17 of August. I was really counting on being able to draw for that time as much as possible. I suppose we'll just have to see, though.

No... not exactly. But I've been asleep on and off for about two days straight. You'll have to excuse me@_@. Maybe I have a disease or something><. Maybe it's the end of school. I may not have finished anything I can show you, but I finished another draft page of Dastardly Lemondrops, and I'm working on toning a page of Snupin Burrito for ... If you didn't notice, I tone all of the even pages, and Pirrip tones all of the odds regardless of who drew them.

Ah...

I'm sorry><. I'm going to clean my room today, and I'll go back to drawing.

Today, Wednesday, after I go to school and come home and clean and do laundry, I have to go to a gallery opening at my school... And two things I have made are in it><. I've never had this sort of thing happen, and while it's just a school event, I'm really nervous. I've never done this kind of thing. When I was in highschool, I was really afraid to do anything like this.

You know, I don't really have any perception of whether or not I'm 'good', and I really wonder if I'm one of those people who... people will look at the things I submitted and thing, "Why? What was he thinking?"

And the fact of the matter is... I'm not particularly self conscious of my art. I don't care if it's good or bad because I work hard to learn and improve. What I'm self conscious about is myself.

I feel like people, after being around me for a while, probably look at me and thing, "What's wrong with that person?" As I was growing up, that was so often said about me and to me. I know I was different, I know I had no sense of other people thinking what a strange little person I was, and it was really in the last years of school that I realised that, and it really made me feel awful...

I tried to take everything about myself and hide it away... I wanted to become invisible so people wouldn't look at me and think... what a retard and a freak I am. Anything 'unique' about me, I got rid of or hid. Any opinions I had, I would keep to myself, knowing that if I said something, someone would be there to make me feel like an idiot. Hell, if I slip up and say anything, that still happens, now. I'm such an easy target.

Now that I think back on that, it makes me sad. I really made myself very boring and plain because I was so afraid and embarrassed. I knew it was coming; someone was going to say this or that, perhaps not even meaning anything mean by it. But I used to have all of these things about myself that really did make me happy...

It's just that most people think those things are lame or... what have you.

Well, I like lame things, you know? What can I say. I used to like to dress 'fun' and all kinds of stuff like that. Now I'd never even think of wearing anything but my pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a hoodie or sweater on top. After all, guys aren't supposed to dress 'cute', right?

What it all boils down to is that I'm afraid of anyone looking at me and seeing anything but the invisible retard. By putting art in some kind of gallery... people are going to see that. See those things that are inside me that I want to hide... And you know, it's one thing putting them on dA where people who are watching me like what I do to some degree. It's another to go out into the big scary world and put up something really personal for people to judge.

You know that one thing I painted?



It's about that 'thing' that's wrong with me. And it terrifies me that I submitted it. Literally, it's like it's coming from inside of me... Well, maybe I'm just being stupid. I feel this way a little bit any time I have to go where other people can see me.

I really wish I were invisible sometimes, so why am I doing this? How did Masao talk himself into this... when he really just wants to live in the TV and internet world><.

Pixiv Style meme Rhonwen. by =hono-masao on deviantART

Guess what, you guys. MASAO GOT ACCEPTED INTO A REAL SCHOOL. Starting in fall, I will be going to Georgia State University. Woo. I can't figure out how to register for my classes, though><. Oh well... Does anyone who goes currently or has gone in the past think they can help me figure this out><? It's totally different from my current school...

Also, we decided that if we made a profit at Momocon, we were going to try to go to more cons around here. However... I don't know of any, really, aside from MTAC... Has anyone heard of 'Nashi-con'? Apparently a con in South Carolina? I don't know. It happened in April, this weekend, apparently. Maybe something for next year if anyone has heard of it?

If not... Masao lives near the largest pluton in the world which is made primarily of granite=_=. Please, if you know of any conventions around me, even in surrounding states, that are not totally lame, please inform me.

HP Meme:Masao Edition. by =hono-masao on deviantART

pirripmama  and I had a good year at Momocon. And, the good news is, we just got our confirmation for an AWA table.

So we're going to be at AWA! That's very exciting, I think^_^. We'll have lots of new stuff, too, so I hope everyone will like it, as well as Snupin Burrito ready to sell.

Thankyou everyone who bought things from me, who liked my drawings, and who recognized my art^_^! This was the best con I've had in a long time<3.

Masao must go to New York on Friday afternoon, and pirripmama  is coming with me. Unfortunately, that means a long time before I can submit any art again;A;. I won't be back until Wednesday night and may not have access to a scanner until Thursday morning...

And then, that Friday, I have to prepare for Momocon!

I will try to update with news, though! So, here's to having my first ride on an airplane!

By the Window 2. by =hono-masao on deviantART
By the Window. by =hono-masao on deviantART

Even if you don't play the Sims 2... If you know anyone who does, lead them this wayXD.

Okay, here's the issue. I have a pregnant sim, male if that makes a difference, and he's already successfully had one baby without this glitch before. But this time, when it came time for his belly to grow? You know how the screen focus on them, and they go "Yoohoo!" and wave their arm?

Well, he just keeps doing that for HOURS. His belly won't crow, he won't do anything, and deleting him and reloading the screen did nothing. He just waves his arm and goes in a circle, and I can't even get the screen to stop zooming in on him. I even moved them out of the house and moved them back in, and it was still messed up><. So... anyone?

Today, in history class, our teacher talked about the movie 300 and how hilariously ridiculous it is in a historical context<3. I might write my paper on thatXD. The funniest part was him talking about Xerxes@_@. Oh man. It was so funny; I wish you all were there. I love that guy.

Then there was art class. Pirrip and I had to go into the room with the lightbox table to finish transferring our projects. This guy then came in... And Pirrip's motion project is er... shota. A big picture of shota. And this guy argued with Pirrip that the shota was a girl. And told us that we were no good at conveying a message in our art or somethingO_o. He kept talking and talking and wouldn't leave us alone. He then informed us that his art conveyed messages clearly... and showed us a sculpture of what I can only describe as a white blob... I was glad Pirrip had asked me to go to Chick-fil-a...

Then when I got back, I returned to her some watercolours we were using... When I do, she said, "Thankyou cutie" or some such like that and told me I would make quite the ladies manXD. Oh man. So I guess my poll... I'm a ladies man!

Oh, did anyone hear about... something about falsified disinformation making it look like mmr vaccinations cause autism? Well, I always figured that was bull...